This script is part of the Someday My Princess Will Come series.
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[sound of door opening]
[cold, calm, firm] Good morning, madam. I think you know who I am.
This is my escort, the captain of the palace guard.
We are here on crown business. May we enter?
[sound of door closing]
[calm, but keeping complete control of the conversation] I’m afraid I need to skip the formalities. My business is pressing.
A young stranger attended the royal ball this week. I am searching the kingdom for him. I believe he lives on this estate.
[pause]
No, not your sons.
Please, don’t bother calling them. I met both of them at the ball. The stranger is a completely different man.
There is another young man who lives on this estate, is there not?
[pause]
No, not a servant. A member of the family.
[pause]
[calm, neutral, revealing nothing] I see.
Madam, I have been to the parish church. The baptismal records confirm that a male child was born to the owner of this estate 19 years ago. There is no burial record for him. The marriage records show that you married his father 12 years ago.
Where is your stepson?
[pause]
[still calm, neutral, revealing nothing] Oh, is that right?
I see.
Then you won’t object if I go up in the attic?
[pause]
The attic. Yes.
I saw the door in the ceiling. Down through that hallway.
It had a lock on it.
Do you always lock your attic, madam? From the outside?
[pause]
Really? Oh my.
How remarkable.
As I was riding up to the estate . . . I’m certain that I saw a face in the attic window.
The captain and his men said they saw it, too.
[pause]
Hmmm.
Tell me, madam, if I were to check the records in the duke’s treasury . . . to see whether this estate had paid its taxes properly, since your husband died ten years ago . . . what do you think I would find?
[pause]
Madam, you are embarrassing yourself. And endangering yourself.
Skip to the part where you unlock the attic, and bring me your stepson.
The captain here will . . . assist you.
[whispering to herself] Ten years of this! To think! He’s endured ten years under the thumb of that woman. I haven’t endured ten minutes, and I’m ready to smack her from here to Greater Andoria.
[still whispering] After ten years, I’d be shriveled with rage . . . or completely broken.
[still whispering] But the man I met at the ball was . . . joyful, and gentle, and peaceful, and funny, and strong. What must he be made of?
[still whispering] Oh! That’s the attic door! He’s coming! Calm. Calm. Keep it together. Breathe. Just breathe.
[still whispering] Merciful heaven! Look at the rags she gives him to wear! And yet . . . [tenderly] he makes even the rags beautiful.
Good sir, well met! It’s lovely to see you again.
Thank you so much.
[pause]
You are too kind, sir.
Have you been well since we last saw each other?
[pause]
[playful, teasing] Why so shy? It’s perfectly normal for a princess to be acquainted with one of her own subjects.
We met a month ago, I believe.
I was out for a ride. A very long ride. I wanted time to myself.
And . . . to be far away from the palace for a while.
I came across you in the forest, about a mile west of here. Is it not so?
[pause]
Yes, you were chopping wood for kindling . . . as if you were some lowly servant.
Not that you seemed to mind the hard work. You were enjoying it.
And it certainly became you!
Like me, you were glad to be outside, I think.
And . . . far away from your home, for a while.
But really, I am surprised we had never met until then.
We should have known each other long ago.
I mean, this is the largest estate in the domain of my uncle, the duke.
And you are the son of the previous owner . . . which I believe makes you the rightful heir to the entire estate.
Is it not so, madam?
[pause]
Oh, yes, I’m sure it’s complicated. Inheritance law can be very complicated.
Just like tax law. Sometimes it’s simply impossible to be sure how much you’re supposed to pay . . . am I right?
Good sir, I am delighted to see you again. And it cheers me to hear that you are well.
I declare, this estate seems to have an exquisite garden on the south side of the house.
[suddenly nervous, unsure] Would you . . . do me the honor of showing it to me, sir?
[pause]
[relieved, overjoyed] That sounds delightful. Thank you ever so much.
Madam, your stepson and I will be taking a walk in the garden.
While we are occupied, the captain here will consult with your household steward.
To see if we might help you figure out those complicated tax laws.
Ta-ta!
[sound of door opening]
[exultant] Oh, the scent of the flowers is gorgeous!
[long breath in and out]
The garden at the palace may be large, but my mother keeps it so . . . severely.
This garden is just exploding with beauty and life.
[playful] Confess! This is your garden, is it not?
[pause]
I thought so. Your stepmother and stepbrothers don’t seem like the kind who would care about gardens.
They wouldn’t know real beauty if it bit them in their . . . wallets.
You know, there’s a marble fountain at the center of the palace garden, with an inscription: “Beauty is truth.”
Clearly there’s someone in this household who understands that.
[pause]
[flustered] Oh my! You say the sweetest things!
Thank you!
[playful] Will you offer me your arm, and walk me through your garden, sir?
[pause]
[gently] No, no. It’s okay. Really.
It’s completely proper for a princess to take a commoner’s arm.
If he offers it, that is!
[pause]
Why, thank you! I’d be delighted.
Now, tell me all about your garden.
[pause]
No, please do.
I feel like . . . like I’m walking through your heart.
And I want to know everything!
[pause]
Mm-hmm.
Lovely!
[pause]
I see.
So how long has the garden been here?
[pause]
She did? Really?
So . . . your father built this garden for your mother?
[pause]
Oh, how beautiful. He must have loved her very much.
And I’m sure they loved you the same way.
[long pause]
That’s so sweet.
For all my wealth and comfort, in the palace . . . I would give anything to feel sure that my parents really love me.
And you should be so proud of how you’ve honored them by keeping this garden.
You’ve kept them with you, all these years.
Your stepmother could lock up your body, but not your mind.
Not the wishes you made in your dreams.
Your work here is truly a marvel.
What are these? I’ve never seen them before.
[pause]
Really? Tell me about them.
Please?
[pause]
They’re adorable. And so perfectly arranged.
I think it says a lot about someone . . . if they know how to create beauty.
Take my uncle’s court tailor, for example.
He has such a generous heart. And he cares about people.
When he sees someone being dreadfully mistreated . . . say, someone he knows who lives on a nearby estate . . . he’ll find a way to help.
I think that’s why he can create so much beauty in the clothes he makes.
Because he has a good heart.
Why, that tailor is so skilled, I bet he could take a young man who had been dressed in rags all his life . . . and forced to live as a servant . . . and dress that young man so finely that he could pass for a nobleman.
And sneak into a royal ball without an invitation.
For example.
Just . . . hypothetically.
[pause]
Oh, I haven’t known him long. Less than a week.
As soon as the ball was over, I started asking around: Is there a tailor in the kingdom so skilled, he could make a commoner pass as a nobleman?
And so generous that he’d be willing to?
Everyone pointed me right to my uncle’s tailor. So I went to meet him.
He had a lot to tell me. Such as . . . what he knew about a certain person on this estate.
Oh, he swore up and down that he didn’t make those fine clothes the stranger wore to the ball.
But, obviously it had to be him.
I mean, how else could a handsome stranger who isn’t a nobleman possibly get himself dressed up like one?
[scoffing] Fairy magic?
He might as well have told me the stranger rode to the ball in a pumpkin.
But the tailor did tell me exactly what was going on at this estate.
How a certain young man was being cheated out of his inheritance.
[pause]
Yes, he’s a very good man.
I’ll be ordering all my dresses and gowns from him from now on. So I think he’s about to become a prosperous man as well.
I’ve always felt that the royal family should try to help the virtuous and generous people in our kingdom . . . move up in the world.
Don’t you agree?
[pause]
[playfully] I wonder if there’s anyone else I could help in that way.
[pause]
Why, look there! What a charming little copse. [“cop-ss”]
Over there, on the other side of the garden.
Why, I believe a couple who walked into it would be completely alone.
No one in the house, or in the fields, would be able to see what they were doing in there.
They could do anything they wanted . . . and be totally unseen.
It’s positively scandalous.
As a representative of the royal family, I feel it is my duty to investigate . . . this . . . potential threat to the public morals of my kingdom.
But of course I shouldn’t go in there alone. That would be dangerous.
Would you accompany me?
[pause]
What a gentleman! Thank you, good sir.
[pause]
This is actually the second time in a week I’ve ventured into a scandalously private place with a handsome gentleman.
At the royal ball, I met the most charming young man.
My mother had been pressing me to dance with that awful prince from Larovia.
I had already danced with him twice. And only because mother made me.
I couldn’t take it. I made an excuse and went out into the garden.
Who should appear, moments later, but a dashing young man.
He must have had his eye on me in the ballroom . . . waiting for his chance.
At the time, he thought I didn’t recognize him.
And I let him think so, because I didn’t know him yet. Not well.
I wanted to get to know him that night.
And I did . . . as we walked in the garden.
And when he brought me back to the ball and danced with me.
[quietly] He’s not just brave . . . he’s kind . . . and funny . . . and considerate . . . and he listened to me all night.
He really listened to me.
And he cared about me for who I really am.
He’s a good man, with a good heart.
The kind of man I’d want to marry.
If I had my choice.
[long pause]
[sighs] Yes, I know.
It’s unlawful for me to marry a commoner.
Believe me, my mother won’t let me forget it!
She knows – they both know – how fragile the peace is.
We’re a small kingdom, with . . . ambitious neighbors.
Essurin will take the first excuse it can get to swallow us up.
My parents think the only hope is a marriage alliance with Larovia.
They think if I don’t marry that insufferable prince, our kingdom is doomed.
[pause]
What’s that?
[pause]
Do you know, that’s the first time anyone has ever asked me what I think about it?
My father made me spend years, training and learning.
So I can be a good queen when my time comes.
But he still treats me like . . .
[sighs] I know he means well. And I do think he loves me. In his own way.
He just wants what’s best for his people.
But I think running to Larovia for protection will only convince Essurin that we’re weak.
That we’re easy prey. Waiting to be taken.
Not to mention all our other neighbors who might have similar designs!
And I think that if we end up dependent on Larovia, we’ll be just as unfree . . . just as subjugated . . . as if Essurin had conquered us!
[pause]
And I’m not the only one who thinks so.
My uncle has been warning my father about this for years.
If not for him I think I’d already have been forced to marry that . . . [disgusted] that prince.
If I were queen, I’d show the world that our kingdom is strong enough to stand on its own feet.
[quietly again] And I’d marry a handsome, deserving young man . . . from our own people.
To show the world we have everything we need . . . right here.
[kissing]
We don’t need anyone else’s strength.
[kissing]
Or anyone else’s approval.
[kissing]
[contented sigh]
[wistful] So this is love.
I feel like I could touch every star in the sky.
[pause]
Hmm?
[pause]
Shhhhh, don’t you worry about all that.
I’ve got it all worked out.
[pause]
Oh, just wait. You’ll see.
Do you trust me?
[kissing]
Hmm?
[pause]
Definitely don’t worry about your stepmother.
[playful] I’m practically carrying her around in my purse.
[kissing]
[serious] That woman will never control you again.
[kissing]
When we get back to the house, she’s finished.
Matter of fact, why don’t we go back right now, and break the bad news to her?
Seeing that terrified look on her face is the only thing I enjoy as much as I enjoy . . . kissing my handsome stranger from the ball.
And I’ve got the rest of our lives together to do that.
[kissing]
All right, come on. [giggles] Let’s go.
[pause]
What’s that?
[long pause]
Well, my parents saw us dancing together, of course. And in the garden.
So they confronted me the next morning.
[pause]
No, don’t worry! It’s a good thing.
I was ready for them.
I had stayed up all night, forming my plan.
So we could be together.
I made them a deal. They gave me one week to search the kingdom, and find the mysterious stranger from the ball.
If I can’t find him, or if it turns out he’s someone I can’t lawfully marry, I promised to marry the prince.
And in return, they promised their consent for me to marry the stranger . . . if I find him, and he’s lawfully marriageable.
My father knows all the noble families. He knows you’re not a nobleman.
So he thinks he can’t lose.
But I plan to surprise him.
[pause]
Oh, you’ll see!
As I said, you have to trust me.
[sound of door opening and closing]
What a refreshing walk! Your garden is truly a wonder, madam.
You must have a worthy gardener. I’m sure you value him highly.
Now, captain, have we confirmed what we found in my uncle’s treasury records?
[pause]
Excellent work, captain.
Well, madam . . . it seems you have been bribing one of my father’s legal secretaries.
I suppose that’s why you thought you could get away with anything.
Like cheating on the taxes you owe my uncle.
And even stealing this whole estate from its rightful heir.
It might interest you to know that your former accomplice back at the palace . . . is rotting in the captain’s jailhouse as we speak.
As soon as we knew where to look, the captain and I found plenty of incriminating evidence on him.
And once we confronted him . . . he had plenty to tell us.
He was very eager to be helpful.
That’s why we dealt with him quietly.
You, madam, are a different matter.
We can’t absolutely prove that you bribed him. So, unfortunately, you won’t be riding back with us to the palace . . . in irons . . . as you richly deserve.
But we can prove that you haven’t paid your taxes for ten years.
So . . . your estate is forfeit to my uncle.
I spoke to him about it already.
Here is his decree. With his ducal seal.
[pause]
He is a just lord to his people, so he won’t keep the estate for himself.
He’s granting it to a young man . . . from one of the landowning families in his domain.
A gentleman’s son. So it’s all very lawful and proper.
The new owner is someone who already knows this estate very, very well.
And he is trustworthy to take good care of it.
Now . . . because I’m such a merciful person, I will give you and your two nitwit sons a full hour to collect your personal effects.
Before the captain here escorts all of you off the property.
[pause]
[calling out after her] Don’t take any more than you can carry on your backs! All the wagons and animals belong to the estate. They’re staying!
Congratulations, good sir, you are a landowner now. With the largest estate in the duke’s domain.
A true gentleman . . . just as I said in the garden.
[pause]
Hmm? Oh, we have your new tailor to thank for that.
As soon as he told me . . . how your stepmother was trying to steal the estate from you . . . I went straight to my uncle’s treasurer.
Hoping he could give us something we could use.
And he had known that something was wrong on this estate for years.
But he could never find someone at the palace to help him prove it.
Until this week.
[pause]
Now . . . I have another decree from the duke to show you.
As I’m sure you know, the duke has no natural heir.
The law of the kingdom allows him to select any landowner from his domain to be the heir of his lands.
And if the crown consents, the chosen heir can inherit his title of nobility as well.
My uncle visited my father yesterday, and got his consent to pass on his title . . . as well as his lands . . . to the person who owns this estate.
Effective as of noon today.
Which should be right about . . . wait for it . . .
Now.
Congratulations, you beautiful man.
You are a duke’s heir . . . a nobleman.
No one could possibly deserve it more.
I’m so proud of you.
[pause]
Of course, my father would never have consented . . . if he’d known what my uncle and I were up to.
But what’s done is done!
As I said, my uncle is a just lord. And a very good man.
So . . . now that you’re a nobleman . . .
[pause]
[joyful] Oh, who cares? Let them look!
[kissing]
Oops! You dropped something!
[pause]
No, no, I swear it, you absolutely dropped something.
[pause]
Hush! I’m telling you, you did.
Whatever it was, I think it fell into my purse.
[pause]
Well, now, don’t be hasty.
Let’s just see what’s in there.
[pause]
Why, it’s a ring!
A gorgeous, perfectly crafted . . . diamond engagement ring.
I declare, this ring is so finely made, the royal jeweler himself could have crafted it for me at the palace.
You sly devil!
Carrying this around with you.
Just in case you wanted to make a marriage proposal.
You must have some particular lady in mind!
To be carrying an exquisite ring like this around.
Tell me, is she beautiful?
[pause]
[sighs]
You do say the sweetest things.
And is she kind . . . and just . . . and true?
[pause]
[deep, hearty laugh]
Oh, she is, is she?
[pause]
What’s that?
[pause]
Anything! Really!
That’s quite a claim to make, even about your beloved.
Do you really think she can do anything?
[joking] Who do you think she is? Your fairy godmother?