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What a day!
Three clients with digi-space identity hacks.
That has to be a personal record.
[addressing the computer] Kira, I only have one more client today, right?
Good.
It’s not another identity hack, is it?
[glad] Ah! A nice, easy profile refresh.
Thank goodness!
Let’s hope it goes smoothly.
Kira, what is traffic like on my way home?
Ugh!
Kira, ask my kitchen to have a hot cup of tea ready when I get there.
Dinner at six.
Well, Kira, bring up the client profile.
Wow!
He’s cute!
I’d refresh this guy’s profile any day of the week!
[giggles]
Let’s see here . . .
Looks like he’s a new client.
Standard profile format . . .
A few custom integrations, but that shouldn’t be an issue . . .
[glad] Oh, he’s an Improver!
[lighthearted] That’s promising!
[becoming serious] That’s . . . actually very promising.
[awkward] Kira . . . has he . . . posted a relationship status on public social?
[excited] “Actively seeking!”
Oh, my!
Kira, show me his profile on public social.
Show photos.
Wow!
Just look at how cute he is!
[giggles]
And an Improver too!
[calming down] Okay, okay.
Let’s see what he has to say about himself.
[liking what she sees] Uh-huh . . . uh-huh . . .
[playful] Kira . . . is today my lucky day?
Never mind! Don’t answer that.
[giggle]
I’ll find out for myself!
[deliberately clears her throat, getting herself into a more professional mood]
[elaborately formal] Kira, please send in the next client.
[warm] Hello!
So good to see you.
Welcome!
Have a seat right here.
[cheery] Get comfortable!
[pause]
My name is Alicia.
I’ll be your identity technician today.
[pause]
Let’s see . . . looks like you’re here for an identity refresh.
And the purpose is . . . self-improvement.
[bright, cheerful] So, you’re an Improver?
[pause]
Good for you!
We all have things we need to work on, don’t we?
It’s so easy to just check out . . . to just live in digi-space 24/7.
If not for Improvers like you . . . the rest of us might forget what it’s all about.
Aspiration, you know?
Progress.
Becoming the change we want to see in the world . . . all that.
I’ve always meant to do more of that myself.
[flirty] I don’t know, I’ve just . . . always admired Improvers.
There’s just something . . . special . . . about them.
[realizing that she’s overdoing the flirtation, shifting gears] Ahem!
So . . . I take it you’ve had an identity refresh before?
[pause]
Excellent!
Well, I know you’ve heard the whole routine before, but . . . we do still have to go over it.
To do this, it’s important to have a strong core identity.
And it’s important to know why you’re making the change that you’re making.
The process can be dangerous if you don’t really know who you are . . . and what you want.
[awkward] But . . . for an Improver like you . . . I suppose that’s not an issue.
[more awkward] The, um, the file here . . . doesn’t specify what it is that you’ve been . . . working on.
The change you’ve been working to make in yourself . . . that we’re going to integrate into your digi-space identity profile.
You don’t have to share it!
Although it can help me be ready . . . in case there are any issues during the integration.
[pause]
[anxious] That’s fine!
Like I said, you don’t have to share.
[flirty] A little mystery is a good thing, right?
Okay, let me set you up.
First I’m going to recline the seat . . .
[calming] Just stay fully relaxed for me, okay?
Kira, dim the lights.
[flirty] A little mood lighting!
[giggle]
Okay, get completely comfortable for me.
[soothing] Very good.
Kira, establish identity link and configure profile connection.
[pause]
[nervous] Listen . . . while Kira is setting up . . .
Well, you’re going to have to rest when we’re done . . . so I thought I would ask you now . . .
[awkward] No pressure, but . . . I was thinking . . . I could ask Kira to ping you later for a connection?
[cheery] I’d love to take you out somewhere fun!
Do you like digi-shows?
There’s a bunch of new ones this weekend . . . I’d love to take you to one.
Your choice!
[pause]
[taken aback] What?
[awkward] You . . . have a girlfriend?
But your social said you were . . .
[furious] Ooooh!
Those brats in registration!
[exasperated] They can access your profile in public social when you check into the clinic.
This is their stupid idea of a prank.
[apologetic] I am so, so sorry about this.
I’m mortified.
It’s so unprofessional!
It’s completely unacceptable.
[serious] I’m going to report them.
[pause]
[calmer] Well, thank you for understanding.
That’s very good of you.
Again, I’m so sorry.
[awkward] Let’s just . . . move on.
Looks like Kira is ready.
We can start the procedure now.
Just relax, okay?
How do you feel?
[pause]
Okay, I want you to close your eyes now.
Take a moment to assess your body.
Focus on each part of your body . . . one at a time.
[pause]
Does any part of your body feel uncomfortable?
[pause]
Okay, good.
Just stay relaxed, and we’ll have you done in no time.
Kira, begin identity refresh procedure.
[pause]
And . . . you’re under.
[pause]
[playful] Wish I could “take a moment to assess your body.”
[giggle]
You are so much cuter in person.
And so sweet!
[wistful] Such a shame you’re taken.
Whoever she is . . . she’d better treat you right.
She’d better appreciate you.
[sigh]
I really am going to report those guys this time.
[pause]
Wait.
[concerned] That doesn’t look good.
Kira, magnify the integration signal display.
Hmmmmm.
[pause]
[concerned] What’s going on in there?
[caring] What are you going through?
[pause]
Kira, stop procedure.
[firm] No, Kira.
Technician override.
[calm but very firm] Full stop on the procedure now.
[pause]
[he has awakened panicking, she’s calming him] Whoa, whoa, whoa!
It’s okay! It’s okay!
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
It’s okay.
Kira, lights on full.
[pause]
I’ve got you.
Everything’s okay.
I’ll protect you.
[pause]
Kira, disconnect him from digi-space entirely.
Technician override.
[firm] I want him fully disconnected.
[pause]
It’s okay.
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
It’s all right.
It’s all over now.
I’ll protect you.
[pause]
You’re sure you’re okay?
[pause]
Don’t worry . . . there’s no judgment here.
[pause]
Nightmares?
[pause]
Yes, I could tell.
[sympathetic] Looks like they were pretty bad, huh?
[pause]
Kira’s algorithm . . . can’t always tell . . . when people are in trouble.
[awkward] Especially with . . . well . . . people like you.
People who are strong.
People who have . . . learned how to take a lot of . . . bad stuff.
A lot of emotional pain.
Your neurology doesn’t react as much.
Kira doesn’t recognize the pattern right away.
And yours . . .
[amazed] Yours hardly changed at all.
[blurting out] You must be very brave!
[awkward] But . . . I was . . . looking at your face . . . and . . .
[compassionate] I could see that you were hurting.
Don’t worry!
I’m here to take care of you.
[calming] It is my job, after all.
[a small laugh to ease the tension]
Everything is all right now.
Do you feel better?
[pause]
Are you sure?
[pause]
Like I said, there’s no judgment here.
I know . . . how bad it can get in there.
Take all the time you need.
[pause]
Okay . . . if you’re sure.
[awkward] Could we . . . talk about . . . what might have gone wrong?
So we can figure out . . . how to make sure it never happens again?
It would help to know . . . what change in yourself were you working on?
To integrate with your identity profile.
Would you . . . be willing to talk to me about it?
[pause]
Uh-huh.
[pause]
Sorry, can I ask you . . . what do you mean by that?
[pause]
Uh-huh.
[pause]
But what, specifically, did you want to . . . get out of that?
[pause]
Because . . . of your girlfriend?
[pause]
[concerned] Hmmmm.
Can I give you my professional opinion?
This is just an initial impression . . . but . . . it sounds to me like . . .
You may not have been very sure what kind of change you actually wanted.
[pause]
Right.
[pause]
I see.
[pause]
And how do you feel about that?
[pause]
Uh-huh.
[pause]
Well . . . and again, these are just initial impressions.
Forgive me for asking, but . . .
Were you working on this change . . . for you?
Or for her?
[pause]
Yes.
[pause]
Yes, that’s not uncommon.
[pause]
Right.
And if it wasn’t something you really wanted for yourself . . .
Well . . . that might be the problem.
Do you think . . . maybe . . . you were . . . trying to earn her approval?
[pause]
[affirming] Mmm.
[pause]
Right.
[pause]
Do you think she, maybe . . . expects you to change who you are . . . for her?
[pause]
Yes.
A lot of people don’t realize that’s an issue . . . until something like this happens.
[awkward] Sometimes . . . well . . . sometimes especially the strong ones.
The ones who . . . give a lot of themselves.
And, like I said . . . from what I saw on your readings . . .
You’re a very strong man.
[pause]
You don’t think she sees you as strong?
[pause]
I see.
[pause]
Well, I’ll just say . . . the readings don’t lie.
Kira, display the integration signal readings from the procedure we just did.
[pause]
Kira, magnify here.
[pause]
You see this line here?
And . . . this one?
They barely moved.
Normally, when there’s a failed integration procedure . . . this line shoots up at least to here.
And this one? It goes all over the chart.
[pause]
You are looking at scientific proof.
You are a man of great emotional strength.
Whatever your girlfriend may think.
Maybe the strongest man I’ve ever seen in here, if I’m honest.
But, well . . .
Strength . . . isn’t enough.
You can’t just grit your teeth and . . . suffer your way through life.
It just doesn’t work that way.
Nobody is that strong.
[gentle] And . . . nobody deserves to live that way.
It’s not right.
[pause]
[awkward] Do you . . . mind if I ask you . . . an even more personal question?
It would help us diagnose the problem.
[pause]
It’s okay if you don’t want to answer . . . but . . .
[gentle] Your parents . . . growing up . . . did they . . . show you a lot of affection?
Really bond with you?
[pause]
[concerned] Hmm.
[pause]
Right.
[pause]
Well, let me ask you this.
Think about . . . times when they showed you affection.
Just take a moment and think about that.
[pause]
[gentle] Now, how easy is it . . . off the top of your head . . . to remember times when your parents showed you affection?
Did you come up with a lot of them right away?
Or did you really have to think about it?
[pause]
Right.
[pause]
Maybe . . . I don’t want to put words in your mouth, but . . .
[gentle] Would you say they were . . . emotionally . . . less available?
[pause]
[affirming] Mm-hmm.
[pause]
Well . . . again, we’re just doing initial impressions here, but . . .
This may be a core identity issue.
Your core identity . . . may not be fully formed.
That would definitely explain what just happened.
[pause]
[softly] Listen, there’s no shame here.
[gentle but firm] No shame . . . no judgment.
What I’d like to do . . . if it’s okay with you . . . is end this session today . . .
And have Kira connect you with my colleagues . . . over in Identity Formation.
[reassuring] All they do is talk with you.
That’s it!
It’s entirely offline. No digi-space.
But what they can do is . . . explore your core identity with you . . . to see if that’s why you had such a bad time in there today.
They can help you become more aware of who you are.
How you’ve been shaped.
And help you make a plan to . . . address any negative issues.
To grow. To heal.
[lighthearted] You could think of it as your next focus area . . . for self-improvement.
What do you think?
[pause]
[pleased] Okay.
Kira, forward the intake for the Identity Formation Department.
[very pleased] I promise, you won’t regret it.
[awkward] And . . . listen . . . I meant everything I said . . . about how strong you are.
[confident, warm, happy] And how much I admire people like you . . . who want to improve themselves.
[sparkling] I guess what I’m trying to say is . . . if you ever decide you want to be with someone who appreciates you for the person you already are . . .
Someone who will support your desire to change . . . but will never try to change you . . .
My offer to take you out for a show is still good!
[sincere] No pressure . . . but if you would like to . . . I would love to.
[gentle] Just think about it, okay?
[pause]
[amused] Okay, fair enough.
Bye!
[pause]
[wistful] Oh, my.
[playful] He looks just as good walking out as he did walking in!
[sigh]
I do hope he gets on the right track.
Speaking of which . . .
Kira, what’s the next book on my tablet?
[pause]
Hmm.
[unsure] Is there a book that’s recommended . . . for people who are considering . . . possibly . . . becoming an Improver?
[pause]
[flat, neutral] Huh.
Plato’s Republic.
[amused] I don’t know what I expected!
Download it.
And Kira?
Wait 24 hours, then . . . ping that last client . . . from my personal account.
Requesting a connection.
Message? Let’s see . . .
[clears throat]
Kira, record message.
[cheery] Hey there! It’s me!
Listen, I meant what I said.
[sparkling] And also . . . I think you’re really cute!
I’d love to take you out somewhere . . . any time you’re ready to improve your life . . . by having me in it!
So ping me back! Bye!
[pause]
[loud, long fit of joyous laughter]
I can’t believe I just said that!
What, Kira?
No . . . I don’t want to revise it.
Send message!
And Kira . . . tell my kitchen to scratch the hot tea.
Tell it to pour me a glass of chilled white wine instead.
Here’s to the new him . . . and to the new me!