This script is part of the Someday My Princess Will Come series.
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Whoooooof.
[breathing heavily, but joyful] Now that . . . was exhilarating!
Wow!
Not to mention exhausting!
But now I get . . . why knights go into the dragon-killing business!
What a thrill!
[a few more heavy breaths]
I’m not sure I need any more dragons in my life . . . but I may have to take up fencing!
I wonder if it’s any different without the enchanted weapons.
[a few more breaths]
[serious] All right . . . enough stalling.
Time to face my final test.
[worried] I hope I’m up to it.
[a final breath in and out for confidence]
Okay.
Now to find the bedchamber.
And face my fate.
[pause]
Where is his bedchamber?
It must be around here somewhere.
I sure hope that sorceress . . . specialized in . . . “turn myself into a dragon” spells . . . and not “hide your true love’s bedchamber” spells.
[suddenly worried] He is my true love.
He is.
I know it.
And my love for him is true.
[even more worried] I hope!
[trying to convince herself] How could it not be?
He’s loyal and true-hearted.
He’s brave.
He’s compassionate.
And gentle.
[sigh] And so handsome!
And I felt this way . . . before I knew he was a prince.
[pause]
When we met . . . I took him for a common woodsman.
I mean, he lived in a dingy little cottage in the woods . . . and everything.
And he didn’t know I was a princess, either.
[pause]
[growing confidence] I came home that very night . . . and told my father right to his face . . . that I was going to marry for love.
That I was going to find the right man.
Not some . . . politically convenient prince.
Someone they picked out for me . . . on the day I was born.
[annoyed] After all, this is the fourteenth century.
[startled] Oh!
[relieved] Sorry, sorry!
You startled me, is all. Sorry.
Wow, you fairies just . . . [nervous laugh] pop up out of nowhere, don’t you?
[pause]
Well . . . hello again!
Thanks for the enchanted weapons!
I mean it . . . they were a lifesaver!
Here’s your shield back.
[nervous] I’m afraid the sword . . . kind of ended up . . . stuck in the dragon’s heart.
[pause]
[relieved] Oh! Well, that’s okay, then.
Glad it worked out!
Hey, listen . . . not that I’m not completely grateful for your help . . . but . . . just some feedback, for next time?
As long as you’re enchanting the weapons . . . maybe . . . add a spell to make them lighter?
I mean . . . they didn’t feel that heavy when I just had to carry them.
But when life and death depended on swinging them as hard as I could?
I’m telling you . . . I’m sore . . . in places I didn’t know I had!
[pause]
WHAT?
The enchantment makes them heavier?
[pause]
Well then . . . no wonder!
Maybe next time . . . try an enchanted crossbow, or something.
[pause]
Really?
Huh.
Well, I suppose you know your business.
Speaking of which . . . right now, this princess . . . is in the smooching business.
So if you could please point me to . . .
[pause]
Ah. I see.
No wonder I couldn’t find it.
[pause]
Okay.
Well . . . thank you!
[pause]
[trying to get rid of them] Thank you . . . very much!
[she waits for them to take the hint, but they don’t]
Ummm . . . again, not that I’m not completely grateful, but . . .
[they still don’t take the hint]
[awkward] Handsome prince . . . under a sleeping curse . . . triumphant princess . . . arriving to wake him up . . .
[they still don’t take the hint]
[exaggerated nervous laugh] Intimate moment, and all . . . you know . . .
[they still don’t take the hint]
[miffed] A little privacy, please?
This is a true love’s kiss, not a juggling act in the town square!
Make with the wings!
Get into the flying away business!
[pause]
[calling out after them] And thanks again! Couldn’t have done it without you!
[pause]
Okay.
[calming breath]
Okay.
[nervous] My love is true.
[more nervous] My love . . . is true.
[awkward] One true love’s kiss coming right up!
Oh, boy.
[pause]
Okay.
Here we go.
[sound of door opening]
[softly] Oh, my.
[quiet, but intense] Oh, my love.
How you take my breath away.
Has there ever been anything so beautiful?
Your face is so peaceful.
I can see all your kindness and warmth.
I can see your good humor . . . the joy you find in things.
Even little things.
[pause]
[giggle] Remember that time . . . with the dandelions?
[pause]
And yet . . . I can also see your bravery.
I see the unbreakable steel . . . behind the softness.
Even this terrible curse couldn’t break you.
It can’t change your kindness and joy.
Your spirit has so much delight . . . and so much power.
[pause]
[suddenly anguished] How can my love ever measure up to you?
How can I ever love you . . . the way you deserve?
[sigh]
I think back to that first day we spent together.
When I came across your cottage in the woods.
How kind and good you were.
I didn’t have anything like that . . . in my world.
That’s why I rode so far from the castle.
My father had just told me . . . that I had been promised in marriage . . . on the day I was born.
[disgusted] Betrothed . . . to some prince I had never met!
So our parents could solve their political problems.
Using us as their pawns.
[pause]
[angry] When I’m a queen, I’ll never use people that way.
[pause]
[tenderly] And you won’t either . . . when you’re my king.
That’s why I fell so hard for you.
That’s why I kept riding back out to the woods.
To see you again and again.
I couldn’t stay away from you.
I think you may be . . . the first good man I’ve ever met.
[pause]
How ironic . . . that the prince I was bound to . . . turned out to be you.
Beautiful, brave, amazing you.
Even in your cottage in the woods . . . you were more truly royal . . . than any of the fools and scoundrels in my father’s court.
And look at you now.
A lord of beauty and glory.
Just waiting . . . for a true love’s kiss . . . to set you free.
[sigh]
And to think . . . you don’t even know yet . . . that I’m your princess.
The fairies who raised you . . .
You have a really interesting family, by the way!
They told you on your birthday . . .
On our birthday . . . the same day my parents told me . . .
That you were betrothed.
That you had already been promised . . . on the day you were born.
[jokingly pretends to be disgusted] To some . . . princess.
[delighted] Just think of it!
We met . . . and fell in love . . . both of us knowing . . . we were already betrothed.
And neither of us knowing . . . it was to each other!
[pause]
I’m actually glad my father was so heartless about it . . . when he told me.
I was so upset.
That’s why I rode so far from the castle . . . and found you.
And I’m really glad the fairies told me who you really are.
[tenderly] That you’re not just my love . . . you’re my prince.
Because let me tell you, prince . . .
I don’t go around slaying evil sorceress-dragons for just . . . any guy I meet in the woods!
But for you?
[serious, defiant] For you I could do anything.
[suddenly anxious] Here’s hoping I can do a true love’s kiss!
[long breath in and out]
You know something?
I realize now . . . what I’m really afraid of.
I don’t doubt my love for you.
Not for a second.
What I doubt is . . . whether I’m worthy of you.
Just look at you.
[anguish] How can I possibly deserve . . .
[chokes on emotion, takes a moment to calm herself]
But you know what else I’m realizing?
That kind of love?
That’s how my parents love me.
They love me . . . if I deserve it.
They love me . . . if I’m good enough for them.
They love me . . . if I am what they think I should be.
They love me . . . if.
But you don’t love me that way.
Your love doesn’t know the word “if.”
Your love doesn’t measure me . . . or evaluate me.
Your love doesn’t demand anything.
Your love . . . just wants . . . me.
You . . . just . . . love me.
You just love the person I am.
I don’t have to worry about whether I’m good enough.
I don’t have to earn your love.
[pause]
[quietly] Your love . . . is true.
[firm] Your love is true.
[completely calm and sure] And so is mine.
[kiss]
[serious] Awaken, my love.
[pause]
[lighthearted] Hi, there, handsome!
Welcome back to the waking world.
[pause]
Yes! It’s me!
Remember?
[wistful] You used to walk in the woods with me.
Once upon a dream.
[pause]
[playful] Hello!
[giggle] Welcome back!
Everybody has been waiting for you.
I mean . . . of all the days to oversleep . . . you pick your wedding day?
[pause]
[big, joyous laugh]
That’s right, sleepyhead.
[pause]
Uh-huh.
[pause]
I guess princess whatshername . . . is all out of luck.
[pause]
Don’t feel bad for her.
She’s a princess.
She’s got a castle, and servants, and everything.
She’ll live!
I’m the one who killed the sorceress.
[pause]
That’s right!
And it was my kiss that broke the spell.
And every day of our life together . . . starting today . . . I am going to hold it over your head!
[big, joyous laugh]
Don’t ever forget our anniversary!
Or leave your dirty clothes on the floor!
I’ll just say: “Maybe I should have left you asleep!”
“I should have let you wait . . . for your precious princess to save you!”
[big, joyous laugh]
[romantic] And then you’ll have to remind me . . . the reason I woke you up.
[kissing]
Mmmmmmmmm.
[kissing]
Yeah, I think we’re going to do just fine.
Why should you marry a princess, anyway?
[happy] After all . . . this is the fourteenth century!